Continued from yesterday (18th Oct)
- She is consistent.
Being consistent means that her personality has not changed from what it was when you first met her. To clarify the point, think of consistency as the opposite of volatility. If someone is unpredictable and volatile, it’s difficult to know how they will be acting toward you on a certain day. And that gets odd no matter how aesthetically pleasing she is.
- She accepts your flaws.
Too many relationships only seem to consist of one partner criticising the other – their bad jokes and their annoying habit of chewing too loud. Your partner should never make you feel inferior, unaccepted, or not good enough. Yes, she should encourage you to improve yourself but she should do that by building you up, not tearing you down.
- She has a good relationship with her parents.
If you want to know what your partner will be like in thirty years, look at their parents.
If you want to know how they will treat you in 30 years look at how they treat their parents now. But this doesn’t mean that a relationship with their parents always needs to be perfect. Understanding your contribution to the relationship with your parents would be important to recognising any tendency to replicate behaviour, positive or negative in an intimate relationship. The only way to learn how to do better in our relationships is to be aware of those behaviours.
- She holds similar values as you.
Many times our value system comes from our upbringing. The things we find important, the things we believe in strongly, the way we treat others, and the way we treat ourselves. The importance of this point cannot be stressed enough. When you set out to make a life with someone, the two of you must agree on some of the non-negotiable values each of you hold. It doesn’t matter how attracted you are to someone or even how well you get along, if your values don’t align, you will always be clashing in the long run.
- She can move past jealousy
While some jealousy is natural in a relationship, it’s important that both partners are secure enough in themselves and each other to know where to focus their energy. being sensible and trusting each other is important if you want a happy life.
Personal space is important for growth and it’s up to both partners whether they have enough trust in each other to allow for that. A mature quality woman will allow you to have your freedom provided you don’t betray her trust.
To be continued….